I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I believe in your delicious
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
