sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
