i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
