he thought i was a dude.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
