I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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