So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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