Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
