that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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