Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
