I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
