He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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