he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
should my penis look like a turkey
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
