We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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