you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
