Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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