The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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