we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
