dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
