I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
