I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
