Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
