Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
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