there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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