you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Randomize
