On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think I died a long time ago.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
he thought i was a dude.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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