Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize