they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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