My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize