she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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