walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize