I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
