i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
