We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
