used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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