i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
