You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
did i just pee glitter
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
