The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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