Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
