Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
