Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
