some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Randomize
