Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
