put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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