the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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