I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
