put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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