he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize