I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
