She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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