I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
