I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize