you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
