to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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