dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
