dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
