This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize