i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
