did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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