found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
God I need to hump something, right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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