I must be too annoying 4 u.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
