have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Still dying that you shit outside
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
