2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
