ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
