shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
